Ampride breakfast

We were looking for the makings of a Sunday breakfast -

nothing special in our estimation - 

eggs, 

fruit 

(we'd settle for juice 

although this would be second best),

maybe some pastry.

Just something other than

'flat meat' and dust at a rest stop 

or Pizza Hut Pizza on the fly  - 

our fare the day before.

Our expectations climbed into the car and headed 'uptown';

only to find there was nothing open but the Ampride gas station.

We went in and, grumbling,
gathered what meager offerings the 'store' had to offer and left.

Returning to the car,
we noticed them in various places around the parking lot;

6 adults, 

a few standing singly, 

some in conversation with one other;

all with apparently nowhere to be this time of morning

but the parking lot;
all with torn dirty clothes;
all thin and
unwashed.

We were approached as we got to the van.

A woman asking for .50

A man asking for .84.

All the prohibitions about not giving to 'panhandlers'

and thus 'enabling them'

collided in my head with all the verses in Scripture 

about being responsible for our neighbors
and feeding the poor;

the collision gave me an instant headache.

But needing to hedge my bets

and not turn my back on Jesus himself, 

I handed each of them a dollar.

Trust me, 

I wish my motivation felt more pure and 'holy' 

than being superstitious about pissing off Jesus

but that was basically it ...

BTW

.84 cents is the price of a cup of coffee in the gas station.

We all have our drugs of choice.

~~~~~~~~~~

Now, 

I have a heart-ache
to match my head-ache.

There are so many ways we need to be feeding our brothers and sisters.

So many ways we all want to be seen 

fed 

noticed 

and deemed 'worthy' 

of having our basic needs 

acknowledged and met.

So many ways in which we're failing each other.

~~~~~~~~~

It's not even 11am on the first day of Mission trip 

and the needs here 

are plainly visible - 

IF we allow ourselves to run the risk
of heart and head ache

in seeing them.

The ride back to the dorm was very quiet.

We had a feast for breakfast this morning.

There wasn't a grumble to be heard.